If You Want To Increase Your Power And Effectiveness, Consider Adopting More Soft Power! This Article explains WHY and HOW.
The rise of Western Authoritarianism has given a lot of people virtual heart attacks. Over the past few decades, massive social change has been driven by changes in demographics combined with globalization.
The middle class has been decimated and less educated, economically marginalized, predominately middle-aged white men increasingly see their prospects for upwards economic mobility as limited. Free trade, immigration, and liberalization are seen as causes of their economic and social malaise.
Social services, universal healthcare, and higher taxes are seen as wasteful and economic inequality as unavoidable.
How does this apply to Asia, Latin America, the Middle East, and Africa? More importantly, how does this apply to our everyday leadership within small and large corporations?
How Your Body Rewards You for Success,
and Punishes You for Failure.
Winning leads to winning and losing leads to losing.
This statement seems so obvious that most people overlook the power of a few simple words to state an evident truth. If you want to win more, then win more and lose less. If you enjoy losing, then lose more which will lead to losing more.
The reason for this simple and yet profound logic is because of our hormones. Our bodies punish us for losing and reward us when we win. These hormones plus the conclusions we draw from the experience determine our attitude towards the next engagement.
When our attitude is confident and we are sure of ourselves, the chances of overcoming minor setbacks and succeeding long term are much greater. On the other hand, when we are less confident, unsure and doubtful, the probability of being stopped by minor setbacks is higher, and the likelihood of failure almost assured!
This short clip is from the 2009 movie “Up in the Air” starring George Clooney. George’s character is delivering bad news about a layoff.
Dreams. We all have them. When we were children our heads were full of possibility, dreams, and fantasies. Most of us knew no limits, other than what we were told we could or could not do.
As we got older our conditioning from family, friends, society and school brought us down to reality, to what was practical and reasonable. Many of us embarked on careers, expecting them to last a lifetime only to discover that times had changed and we had to change too or become obsolete.
In this article, you will discover thirteen tips
to be a Net Energy Generator!
Imagine a battery that increases in power when you use it and decreases when you don’t. Wouldn’t that be amazing? Well, the incredible news is that you have such a battery… an emotional one!
This is how emotions work. The more you express or use them – the more they grow and the more energy you have. When you withhold, contain or suppress them the less energy you have.
This is why some people end up being emotionally bankrupt. They stop putting out or giving and end up taking. They say little which forces the other people around them to give by way of saying more to fill the empty space. Their emotional battery is empty. In other words they are emotionally bankrupt.
Emotionally bankrupt means you put out less than you receive. The key to success in life is to be a net generator of energy…
Whenever you give more than you receive, you are communicating to yourself, the world around you and other people that you believe in abundance. Regardless of your financial status or position in society, it is possible to generate more energy than you receive. Eventually the excess giving creates a vacuum that can’t help but flow back to you.
This positive flow back can be in the form of good luck, energy or good old CASH. Personally I have experienced all three. I find myself easily being in the right place at the right time… people respond positively to me and make huge efforts to give me what I am asking for. Sometimes without me even saying anything. Yup, sounds hokey, but it is true.
I was at my favorite restaurant in Beverly Hills the other day and ordered my usual organic chicken soup for lunch. The restaurant is also in Paris and when there, I like to order what they call a chicken Pot-au-feu and it comes automatically with Harissa (Tunisian hot chili pepper paste). So this day in Beverly Hills I thought of Harissa but didn’t say anything, in fact I didn’t even know if they had Harissa! Can you guess what happened? The waiter brought my usual chicken soup and without saying a word brought a jar of Harissa! Wow. Coincidence? I don’t think so.
If you are wondering if that is an isolated incident, I can assure you I have had too many experiences like this to count…
Most people think that emotions are like any other scarce resource that must be held back, saved and conserved. This is so wrong! Emotions are nothing like scarce resources, in fact they operate by different rules.
These rules can be learnt. Applied and if you do, you will experience an almost immediate increase in energy and wellbeing. Little by little you will become more and more lucky. How does that sound?
Thirteen tips to be a net energy generator:
Tell people what you like about them or what they did.
Greet people with enthusiasm.
Give heartfelt appreciation whenever people give you something or do something for you.
Use people’s names – they love it!
Offer sincere and heartfelt compliments when they do something special or look exceptionally great.
Show an interest in people’s lives and notice when they are not happy or are having a bad day.
Ask how people are doing and listen when they tell you.
Pay larger than normal tips to service staff.
Always give more than you receive.
Minimize complaining, and if you do complain, offer a solution.
Leave every conversation or environment better off than when you found it.
Look for the good purpose in every situation, regardless of how negative it may appear.
A lot of well-meaning people end up frustrated when attempting to give people feedback… that is because they don’t have the person’s agreement or attention.
Most people view feedback as negative, so don’t do it!
Perhaps you have been on the receiving end of feedback that is thinly masked criticism intended to minimize and dominate. This is more common than we would like to believe.
As a CEO, coach and seminar leader I have had lots of practice delivering messages to fragile egos. In fact, there seems to be a correlation between the size of the ego and its fragility. Anything that challenges the ego’s view of the world is resisted, often vehemently.
It takes humility to be open to input from the outside, so anytime you run into a large ego – you can expect resistance.
Working with fragile egos is like walking through a minefield… you never know when you will step on a mine -ka-boom!
Regardless of the situation within which you are offering suggestions for improvement, it always goes down better when you warm the recipient up by getting their permission first, then starting with the positive. We call this approach LOVEBACK and have found it to be dramatically more effective than traditional feedback.
These 5 Keys to Loveback are like a magic elixir that when consumed allow you to say almost anything to anyone…
Set in the year 2048, after a war, the community elders thought it was a good idea to remove all race, emotions and as many differences as possible.
Hmmmm… sounds like removing many of the very qualities that make us human!
Before watching this movie I had never heard of the book that it is based on… I was looking for a movie to watch one evening and stumbled on it in iTunes.
Filled with A-List actors this movie delivers. I totally loved it! My most profound takeaway is that no matter how well-intentioned people are, in their “infinite wisdom” by removing what makes us human in order to make us “safer” they create a new set of horrors. This manifests as good people engaging in unspeakable acts without even realizing it.
This has me thinking about certain people and cultures that find emotions so difficult to handle that they suppress, cover up and deny them… in the end lacking feelings, perhaps most importantly lacking empathy for the suffering of others…
It is the full range of emotions from the depths of sadness to the highs of joy and ecstasy that has us being fully alive…
I was inspired to put together this diagram to highlight the competing forces of risk and return (also known as reward). As I sat on the couch one evening a thought came to me about what separates successful leaders from everyone else.
Successful leaders aren’t smarter. They certainly aren’t more conservative. They do seem to take a lot of risks and for the most part emerge unscathed. Once in a while you will see a leader crash and burn only to rise from the ashes. Unless it is incapacitating or life threatening… most disasters won’t keep a true leader down.
Lots of people have visions of a future they would like to create or see others create, however most of these visionaries never manifest their vision into reality. You could say its easy to dream and quite another thing to take it all the way to realizing it.
The best leaders not only inspire others to follow but also acquire missing knowledge and apply it through successful execution on the route to mastery. This takes balancing risk and return.
The same is true of investing and entrepreneurship. Ask any successful investor or entrepreneur and they will tell you that maximizing returns comes with high risk and that minimizing risk also limits potential returns. The Sweet Spot (The Zone) is found by seeking a balance between these two competing forces. In order to stay in the Sweet Spot takes constant learning, execution and application of the knowledge gained.
When you stop learning, stop applying and stop executing you drop out of The Zone and become either over conservative or take unwise risks that are akin to gambling.
Most people fixate on one end of the spectrum or the other and often wildly swing between the two.
Consider for a moment, what would happen to your FLOW if you followed this simple 4 step strategy:
Locate the Sweet Spot by asking “what does OPTIMUM look like?”
Move into the Sweet Spot
Make ongoing adjustments to stay in the Sweet Spot
Assess the downside risks and develop a strategy to mitigate them
Inventory the potential upside and implement a strategy to capitalize on it
The key is to not fight competing forces… work with them!