Peak Performance Resources for Leaders by Leaders

Tag: Emotion & Behavior Page 2 of 4

Playing to WIN or Playing Not to LOSE

In the game of life and business, you could easily assume that most people play the game to win. Why play at all if it isn’t to win? After all, that is the purpose of the game, isn’t it?

Unfortunately, the majority of people don’t play to win — they play not to lose. You may have heard people say, “I hate to lose.”

When playing to win, you understand and accept that losing is sometimes part of the game. However, you do whatever it takes (legally, ethically and morally) to win.

When playing not to lose, you feel that you must not lose — no matter what.  You play conservatively and avoid risk because your desire not to lose is greater than your desire to win.

And here is the rub… other players will exploit your unwillingness to lose — which will have you losing!

ZONE TIPS > Your Feelings Are Not Reliable

Feelings are important to our experience of living as human beings. It is said that all mammals have some feelings; however, as a human being, we have the widest range of feelings. Beyond the basic triad of pain, pleasure and numb, we have a lot of nuances to describe how we feel at any given moment — about everything we experience.

When it comes to making decisions, even the most rational, seemingly emotionless decision-makers are, unbeknownst to them, influenced by their feelings — even if they are not consciously aware of them. Even no feeling is a feeling.

Because of past things that have happened to us (both real and imagined) we tend to have conflicting emotions, as well as stacks of misplaced emotions, that get projected onto items, areas, subjects and people that they do not belong to.

Why People Lie

People lie for a variety of reasons. According to a study conducted by Dr. Bella DePaulo, the average person lies once or twice a day and over the course of a week, deceives about 30 of the people they interact with. This does not include the lies we tell ourselves. Some of the reasons people lie are to:

  • gain power
  • gain status or improve one’s position (impress others)
  • avoid conflict
  • avoid an unpleasant truth about themselves
  • avoid admitting mistakes
  • diminish or suppress someone else
  • avoid hurting someone’s feelings
  • avoid anger
  • avoid responsibility
  • gain respect or admiration
  • gain self-worth
  • be liked
  • maintain the status-quo, hoping everything will pass unnoticed
  • gain something of value

OPTIMA ZONES > Seven Types of People

Consider the chart below: Seven Types of People. As a general rule most people tend to spend most of their time in one primary zone or level. Yes, from day to day, week to week, a person can change and rise up and down this scale. In other words when a person changes for the better, they move up. The opposite is also true: when they change for the worse, they move down.

Understanding this chart and the other charts of the Optima Zones allows you to predict the results people will get from life, career, business and relationships. It also allows you to identify where you are at, so you can change what you need to change in order to improve your results.

<< click on the chart to enlarge >>

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Your Inner-Critic

Have you ever made a mistake, then a split-second later felt the sting of dread, shame, and disapproval followed by a critical inner voice that judges and finds fault with what you have done?

Both the feeling and the voice are manifestations of what is known as your “Inner Critic.” This article explores what is an Inner Critic, how it works, where it came from, and how to free oneself once and for all of this sabotaging mechanism.

Let’s explore the definition in more detail:

INNER:

  1. Situated inside, further in, or internal.
  2. Spiritual, mental, or emotional.
  3. Private and not expressed or discernible.

CRITIC:

  1. A person who disapproves and expresses their unfavorable view of something.
  2. A person who judges and evaluates or analyzes literary or artistic works, dramatic or musical performances.
  3. A person who tends too readily to make trivial, or harsh judgments; faultfinder.

INNER-CRITIC:

  1. Internal, private voice that disapproves, judges, evaluates, and finds fault saying that he or she is bad, wrong, inadequate, worthless, guilty, and not good enough.

If you are like most people, your feelings about criticism range from mild dislike, strong dislike to outright hatred for the criticism and the person giving it.

The Impact of Shame and What to Do About It

The purpose of this article is to discuss the subject of shame, its impact on one’s life and what steps can be taken to release the feeling of shame and the effects these feelings create.

First, let’s look at some definitions:

Everyday Terrorism

Roadside bombings, drive-by shootings, tourists held at gunpoint, we are familiar with these headlines describing terrorist activities. Desperate for a method to get what they want, terrorists resort to tactics that invoke fear in the hearts of even the most secure and confident people.

Terrorists feel totally justified in taking other people’s lives and see their victims as guilty of one thing or another. They take it even so far as suicide, and sacrificing the defenseless and clearly innocent (like children) as a means to the end of their cause.

Perhaps, more insidious than the headline terrorists are the everyday terrorists who operate in the corridors of the modern workplace. We don’t have to look to the streets of a distant city for these people.

Financial Crisis: What to Say to Your Loved Ones

Many people have their self-worth hardwired to their net-worth. I referred to this phenomenon in Towers of Glass, Feet of Clay.  Perhaps this is the single biggest reason it is a good idea to build a glass tower around yourself in the first place. So, what happens when the waves of impact touch your reality and this tower is about to blow apart from the tension, shattering everything within its shadow?

ZONE TIPS > Staying “In The Zone”

Most people know what “The Zone” is and have experienced moments in The Zone in their career, sports, money, etc. Typically these moments are infrequent and unpredictable at best, and most people have no idea how to get in The Zone whenever and wherever they choose.

The Zone feels like a quiet excitement with intensified focus. You feel a sense of confidence, total concentration, and an intense awareness. Your movements are easy, flowing and especially coordinated. You lose all sense of time as if another dimension has been added. You are completely focused on what you are doing and all other thoughts and feelings diminish.

Confront and the Financial Crisis

With the financial crisis deepening, many of our worst fears are being realized.  With the Waves of Impact continuing to wash over us, we are being confronted by financial losses on a never-before-seen scale. Entire industries are at risk of being wiped out. Previously invulnerable mega-corporations are being brought to their knees. Hidden weaknesses are being exposed.

As individuals, we are being faced with the complete loss or at least dramatic reduction in the value of our retirement accounts. It can feel like we are being confronted on all sides. How do we cope with the uncertainty?

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