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Peak Performance Resources for Leaders by Leaders

Tag: Emotion & Behavior Page 1 of 4

Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

Who Do You Trust?

TRUST:
  1. A belief in the reliability, safety, truth, or ability of someone or something.
  2. To believe that someone is honest, good and will not harm you.

We have all had our trust betrayed and our hearts broken. It hurts! If we decide no one is trustworthy, we build a wall or shell around our hearts and refuse to let people in. This makes us skeptical, hard, miserable. Alternatively, when we feel our hurt, let it go and realize that some people are worthy of trust and some are not, we then can remain open and flexible.

How to Feel More Beautiful

True Beauty

What would happen to your life if you surrounded
yourself with all things beautiful?

What does it mean to be beautiful? Beauty is something that we all recognize instinctively. Even three-month-old babies smile longer at faces that appear more attractive.

Most of us would agree that beauty is pleasing to the senses and to be beautiful means to possess qualities that give great pleasure to see, hear, touch, feel or to think about. In other words, these qualities delight our senses.

So seductive are the charms of beauty that we spend huge amounts of money with reckless abandon at the slightest hope of looking younger, fresher, more attractive. This has spawned a huge industry that is often criticized as shallow, self-indulgent and materialistic. Increased mental health issues are blamed on massive advertising spending that encourages an obsession with looks, youth, and attractiveness. Most religions promote a more austere, conservative outlook more focused on the life after death than the pursuit of beauty, seduction and aesthetic.

Thirteen Tips to Be a Net Energy Generator

emotionally bankrupt means you put out less

In this article, you will discover thirteen tips
to be a Net Energy Generator!

Imagine a battery that increases in power when you use it and decreases when you don’t. Wouldn’t that be amazing? Well, the incredible news is that you have such a battery… an emotional one!

This is how emotions work. The more you express or use them – the more they grow and the more energy you have. When you withhold, contain or suppress them the less energy you have.

This is why some people end up being emotionally bankrupt. They stop putting out or giving and end up taking. They say little which forces the other people around them to give by way of saying more to fill the empty space. Their emotional battery is empty. In other words they are emotionally bankrupt.

Emotionally bankrupt means you put out less than you receive. The key to success in life is to be a net generator of energy…

Whenever you give more than you receive, you are communicating to yourself, the world around you and other people that you believe in abundance. Regardless of your financial status or position in society, it is possible to generate more energy than you receive. Eventually the excess giving creates a vacuum that can’t help but flow back to you.

This positive flow back can be in the form of good luck, energy or good old CASH. Personally I have experienced all three. I find myself easily being in the right place at the right time… people respond positively to me and make huge efforts to give me what I am asking for. Sometimes without me even saying anything. Yup, sounds hokey, but it is true.

I was at my favorite restaurant in Beverly Hills the other day and ordered my usual organic chicken soup for lunch. The restaurant is also in Paris and when there, I like to order what they call a chicken Pot-au-feu and it comes automatically with Harissa (Tunisian hot chili pepper paste). So this day in Beverly Hills I thought of Harissa but didn’t say anything, in fact I didn’t even know if they had Harissa! Can you guess what happened? The waiter brought my usual chicken soup and without saying a word brought a jar of Harissa! Wow. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

If you are wondering if that is an isolated incident, I can assure you I have had too many experiences like this to count…

Most people think that emotions are like any other scarce resource that must be held back, saved and conserved. This is so wrong! Emotions are nothing like scarce resources, in fact they operate by different rules.

These rules can be learnt. Applied and if you do, you will experience an almost immediate increase in energy and wellbeing. Little by little you will become more and more lucky. How does that sound?

Thirteen tips to be a net energy generator:

  1. Tell people what you like about them or what they did.
  2. Greet people with enthusiasm.
  3. Smile.
  4. Give heartfelt appreciation whenever people give you something or do something for you.
  5. Use people’s names – they love it!
  6. Offer sincere and heartfelt compliments when they do something special or look exceptionally great.
  7. Show an interest in people’s lives and notice when they are not happy or are having a bad day.
  8. Ask how people are doing and listen when they tell you.
  9. Pay larger than normal tips to service staff.
  10. Always give more than you receive.
  11. Minimize complaining, and if you do complain, offer a solution.
  12. Leave every conversation or environment better off than when you found it.
  13. Look for the good purpose in every situation, regardless of how negative it may appear.

Good luck and here is to more energy! XOXO

Reaction FREE: The 12 Rules of Reaction

Reaction FREE

A Reaction is a term used to describe an adverse situation where we lose our composure, equanimity, or calmness in response to a situation or event that involves unwanted feelings hijacking us. These emotions can include intense feelings of pain, sadness, fear, anger, or indignation that manifest as a fixation on being “right”, can be either conscious or unconscious, and are accompanied by a physiological response that can be felt most intensely in our chest or stomach.

Reactions are usually instant, uncontrollable, and overwhelming to our rational response causing us to say or do things that are not well thought out, hurtful or harmful to others or ourselves. Typically the core emotion or package of emotions relates to unresolved issues from the past that the current situation or event has triggered.

MOVIE > The Giver

Set in the year 2048, after a war, the community elders thought it was a good idea to remove all race, emotions and as many differences as possible.

Hmmmm… sounds like removing many of the very qualities that make us human!

Before watching this movie I had never heard of the book that it is based on… I was looking for a movie to watch one evening and stumbled on it in iTunes.

Filled with A-List actors this movie delivers. I totally loved it! My most profound takeaway is that no matter how well-intentioned people are, in their “infinite wisdom” by removing what makes us human in order to make us “safer” they create a new set of horrors. This manifests as good people engaging in unspeakable acts without even realizing it.

This has me thinking about certain people and cultures that find emotions so difficult to handle that they suppress, cover up and deny them… in the end lacking feelings, perhaps most importantly lacking empathy for the suffering of others…

It is the full range of emotions from the depths of sadness to the highs of joy and ecstasy that has us being fully alive…

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Art de Vivre – Joie de Vivre

artist
It’s all about personal quality of life. What good is it to have wealth, power, influence and yet feel miserable?

It is easy to rush through life, from meeting to meeting, event to event and not even notice the details. Small things. Important things.

Numb seems to be the new normal for many people. Is it any wonder that drug use is at an all-time high? The path from numb to joy of living is long, winding and often akin to playing snakes and ladders. “Back to square one” seems an all too often occurrence.

Unlike board games, in life we can never go back. No matter how it feels we can never unlearn an experience because every event, every moment forever changes us. What we can do is change our mind about what the experience means. Old experiences can offer new lessons.

Accepting emotions – all of them – is the “secret sauce” to experiencing joy in life. Rushing serves to deepen the numbness… lingering opens up the flavors of experience and allows the senses to activate. Feelings rise. Both wanted and unwanted.

Instead of crashing through life, designing a career, a certain amount of money… what would happen if one lived as if life itself were a work of art?

Become your own artist and infuse art into everything you do…

Art de Vivre: your smile… your hair… your clothes… your work… your house… your car… your cup of coffee… your expression… your posture… your writing… your cooking… your dinner setting… your afternoon snack… your hand holding… your conversation… your travel… your love notes… your attitude… your dreams… your nightmares… your lovemaking… your decor… your office… your voicemail… your entertaining… your values… your beliefs… your vacations… your expression when you eat… your hug when you meet a friend… your handshake when you meet a stranger… your desert… your nutrition… your hydration… your garden… your sunglasses… your shoes… your socks… your aging… your death…

Yes! All of life is art. Mastering the joy of living – in the moment – with people you love is what makes life worthwhile.

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FREE WILL > Are We Actually Making Our Own Decisions?

Recent research into how we make decisions reveals some startling findings that a brain scan can predict what we will choose 6 seconds before we consciously make the decision. So does that mean we are making most of our decisions unconsciously? You decide…

Seven Primary Motivations

paradigmsandmotivations

 

MOTIVATION > There are seven primary motivations that correspond to seven paradigms. As your paradigm changes, so does your motivation, which in turn alters your focus. If a person is living day to day (survival) then their motivation will be survival based and their goals will be focused on getting out of survival.

The key to shifting from one paradigm to another is to set goals based on a higher paradigm…

In order to do that:

  1. Identify the paradigm you are currently operating within
  2. Recognize alternative paradigms (there are seven in total)
  3. Immerse yourself in the new, chosen paradigm and set goals based on the predominate motivations of that paradigm
  4. Have fun! Don’t take it all too seriously…

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Passion

PASSION (2)

In this article, you will discover what
PASSION looks and feels like!

When I am feeling passionate, I have a heightened sense of vitality, aliveness, vibrancy, drive and enthusiasm.  There is a warm excitement and an all-consuming focus on my sensations.  I have a sense of confidence, total concentration, and a keen awareness.

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