Peak Performance Resources for Leaders by Leaders

Productivity in a Masculine/Feminine Partnership

The Plot. It is one of the oldest and most pervasive dramas that exist between men and women. The storyline is told far and wide. We are all familiar with how the story begins and how it ends, with only the middle being variable. Here are discuss, what to do to get out of the same old plot and offer a roadmap that anyone can follow.

When we talk about the plot, we are referring to the story or interrelated sequence of events that exists between two or more people. The nature of a plot is that it takes a minimum of two sides in order to exist. When one side decides to exit the plot and takes the necessary steps to do this, the plot can no longer exist. Therefore, if a plot is existing, then both sides are contributing to it.

A relationship is often a complex web of plots that combine into a major theme. Therefore, if you can identify and resolve the major themes, you can experience a quantum leap in your results and level of intimacy.

In an ideal scene, both partners would equally develop their masculine and feminine characteristics.  One partner is utilizing more masculine qualities, and the other is utilizing more feminine qualities in their expression with each other.

Problems occur in a partnership when one of the partners has not developed or embraced the characteristics of their gender. This forces their partner to compensate by taking on and expressing the opposite characteristics of their gender.

In other words, if a man isn’t fully developed in his masculine role, then the woman in the partnership is forced to take on and act out the masculine traits that her partner isn’t owning. On the other hand, when a woman is over-expressing masculine characteristics, then the man is forced to become more effeminate and to under-express his masculine characteristics.

This can show up as a lack of male productivity – resulting in a lower than normal self-worth and a low income. For a man, his self-esteem is directly connected to his sense of productivity.

So if you want to disempower a man, make him feel unproductive. If you want to disempower a woman, make her feel ugly.

The basic masculine and feminine characteristics or qualities are as follows:

Masculine Qualities Feminine Qualities
  1. Achievement
  2. Acquisition
  3. Action
  4. Assertive
  5. Competitive
  6. Control
  7. Courage
  8. Dominance
  9. Drive
  10. Force
  11. Goal-oriented
  12. Identity
  13. Intellectual
  14. Logic
  15. Motivation
  16. Productive
  17. Protection
  18. Reasoning
  19. Solution-oriented
  20. Strength
  21. Systematic
  1. Accepting
  2. Attraction
  3. Beauty
  4. Caring
  5. Connection
  6. Cooperative
  7. Creativity
  8. Empathy
  9. Experiential
  10. Flexibility
  11. Inspiration
  12. Nurture
  13. Perceptive
  14. Receptive
  15. Retreat
  16. Sensitive
  17. Sensuality
  18. Softness
  19. Spontaneity
  20. Supportive
  21. Tenderness

To the extent that a person is missing or overdeveloped in any of these qualities, they will draw partners to themselves who play right into their plot!

So the first key to escape this scenario is to look at which of the masculine and feminine characteristics you have developed and are able to express – and which are underdeveloped and unexpressed in you.

The second key is to look at which of the masculine and feminine characteristics your partner has developed and are able to express – and which are underdeveloped and unexpressed in them.

For example, if both partners are overly competitive – then you will have a partnership that is combative, argumentative and constantly challenging. The solution in this example is not for the man to win the competition, or to back down. This will only lead to a lack of productivity. The most effective solution would be for the woman to stop being competitive with the man, and to focus on supporting him to channel his competitive spirit into an appropriate expression that benefits the partnership.

This is not to say that the woman should not be competitive, or that the man should not be supportive of her competitive expression. What we are saying is that in the partnership, they should not compete with each other!

And finally, if a man is getting all his needs met, is productive, expressive, and the woman is not getting her needs met, she will either shut down sexually, or become nagging and controlling. A healthy balance of masculine and feminine characteristics in both partners, with each partner expressing the characteristics of their gender, is the only way to develop and sustain a fulfilling, productive and rewarding partnership.

© Goldzone Education. All rights reserved.


Your Inner-Critic


Dedicated to “3 Musketeers” (You Know Who You Are)


  1. Joao

    Excellent article! Years ago when I was in college, on the semiology classes we was debating the same topic. Male x Female/ Mars x Venus

  2. Diana

    Thank you for this clear article that outlines core issues to relationships that has couples having a negative synergy instead of a positive one. I can relate as I have been under expressed in several of my feminine qualities and over expressed in my masculine which has caused lower productivity in my partner and having him feel less about himself. Balancing out is a much healthier approach. Thank you for this exceptional article!

  3. Rowena

    I can relate to times when I have found myself feeling like I am being more of the husband in a relationship to fill in, and having to sacrifice some of my more feminine qualities/expressions in order to do so and not feeling balanced.
    This explains a nice balance and synergy between the two expressions – Thank you.

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